Archive for the ‘ Life After Bankruptcy ’ Category

After 8 long and utterly painful years, the nightmare of divorce continues and has led to my complete financial ruin, irreparable harm to my career and most important, I’ve been deprived of any semblance of a relationship with my children. I readily admit I contributed to the demise of the marriage however my ex-wife has used every tool at her disposal to squeeze every drop of blood from the stone and that includes her own children. Over and over again, she would manufacture a crisis accusing me of everything untrue from abuse to drug addiction and then move the kids in the middle because she knew my love for them was enough that I would capitulate to her to save the kids. Most notable was her coercing my then 14 year old twin sons to aide her in burglarizing my apartment and stealing the last ,000 of assets I owned. Six months later, charged with 5 felonies I thought finally she would be held accountable for her terrible deeds however the prosecutor informed me that my children were prepared to overturn their previous testimony and state that they acted alone. The prosecutor asked if I’d take a deal to save my children from lying in court. I asked for only my property to be returned. My ex-wife refused ANY deal and once again I rolled over to protect my boys.

Divorced the same month in December of 2006, I lost my job as senior technologist for the business. My divorce required me to pay 40/mo in combined support. My ex-wife declared I was voluntarily unemployed and a labor lawyer said that it would be difficult and costly to fight. I was unemployed and the terms of divorce left me nothing therefore I was in desperate financial shape. I then learned that the VA Dept. of Child Support Enforcement can modify support. I called many times. I wrote letters. I received no response. Soon my bank accounts were seized for back support forcing me to be evicted. I was forced to move in with my parents. 49 years old and living with mommy and daddy. Humiliating.

Finally I got a good job in CA but it too lasted on 6 months since the economy caused the company to shutdown the division I was hired into. The day I was let go, I again called the VA DCSE and after several tries finally spoke with the case worker who told me what to do to modify support. I complied and I waited as I again lived with my parents to try to recover my life. After 9 months (last December) in the eleventh hour of the process when I fully expected to have my support finally modified by the court, I was informed by the case worker that she transferred my case to PA (current state of residence) and therefore my review process was terminated. Incredible! Unbelievable! Since had the support been modified properly it would have been retroactive to the date my ex-wife was served (March) therefore the transfer cost me 40/mo for every month since March of last year. In February I marched into the DCSE office and demanded I speak with a manager which I did. He was shocked at what happened and I felt I finally had a sympathetic ear. He told me what to do in court since I can’t afford an attorney. I have been trying hard to navigate the legal system that is hopelessly biased against me.

This week I went to a hearing to temporarily modify support in advance of the hearing on the entire petition scheduled for September. I was shocked when the DCSE lawyer requested a trial and clearly was gearing up to fight me. The DCSE’s abject failure to process my reviews and requests for support, first in 2007 when they simply ignored me, and then in 2009 when they transferred my case. The DCSE has done everything to PREVENT me from supporting my children.

Today my credit is impugned with a Child Support Lien of over ,000 as well as bankruptcy that occurred finally in 2008. Since credit scores are used today as a filter on new applications I can’t get a job at the gas station (I tried!). Maybe bagging groceries or other parolee oriented positions.

The damage to me is almost incalculable. I am a former executive office of public companies and today i can’t get a job at a gas station due to abysmal credit. I’ve been unemployed 2.5 of the last 3 years and will never aspire to the same level where I was a 6-figure wage earner since 1989 and former gazillionaire with stock prior to the 2002 crash. I have a new wife who remains in Europe waiting for me to solve the problems so we could be reunited. My ex-wife continues to withhold my court ordered custody. And she gets away with everything because the entire system is so bloody biased against me. I paid and paid and paid for the sake of my children and now the system is a willing accomplice to her campaign of destruction.

Our constitution guarantees us the fundamental rights of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness and that these rights cannot be deprived without due process. Where was my due process?!? My life is in shambles and pursuit of happiness impossible.

Th

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I’m 38, husband 41. We’ve been married for 11 years and have a ten y.o daughter. After he lost his business due to a irreconcilable dispute with his partner (this is not the first, losing and disputing I mean) and fell into a terrible bankruptcy, we had to move back to my father’s house early this year. I had to let go of my own business, but thank God my old workplace is willing to take me back, but my husband is still jobless. He only stays at home, but claims to be looking for work/business through the internet and his network (by phone/text-messaging). He spends most of his time in front of TV and computer, and gets angry when I ask about his plans. He said he had been the breadwinner for ten years, so I should give him a break now. I don’t think this is true because I had my own business, and my father gave him a lot of money so he could start his business.

I just can’t communicate with him cos he just walks away or says something nasty if he doesn’t like the topic. He only helps with our kid and the chores when he is in the mood, which is rare. I wish we could see and talk to someone about this, but I don’t think there are any marriage counselors in my area – I live in a small town in Indonesia – but if there were any, my husband wouldn’t go. I asked him once to come with me to see our pastor, but he only told me to take a look at myself in the mirror before judging others, and not to hang our dirty laundry in public.

I want to make sure that this is only a stage that I have to go through, that I just have to brace myself till it’s over, that I’m not being weak and lame, and making myself everyone’s door mat. I feel so limited now and that makes me really angry. Maybe if there were just me and my daughter, life would be less complicated? Maybe we should plan to move away together, just me and my daughter? Or maybe my husband is just afraid of facing life after the loss? How can I make him want to get out there and start over? I hate having to support a healthy man all the time. And I don’t think he’s being a good role model for our daughter. What should I do?

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I’m a single mom with a six year old daughter. I have worked all my life and never depended on the welfare system. For the first time in my life after 25 years of being in the work force I can’t find a job that will work with my daughter’s visitation schedule with her father I am struggling trying to get any sort of help possible while living on credit cards which I’ll have to one day file bankruptcy when I max out. Anyone out there willing to help a single mother like me or know of an agency that can help? I worked in the mortgage industry/banking and even went back to school to study paralegal in hopes of finding a good paying job yet now I’m in more debt. If you don’t have any sort of a solution or ability to help out please I ask you kindly not to respond. I’m not looking for pity or any form of hurtful comment. Only if you’re willing to help guide me to an organization, government program or even if there’s an individual out there that’s willing to help. I need financial assistance to payoff my credit cards, go to court with an attorney, not by myself or I’ll lose to modify the visitation and find a
full-time job, with insurance. I have a verbally abusive ex-husband that has visitation with my daughter, I have to be home from work by 5:00 P.M. PST 2 days out of the week and every Friday I have to start work at 9:00 A.M., also 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends of the month on Fridays I need to be home from work by 5:00 P.M. so my ex-husband is able to pick up my daughter & practice his visitation rights!. I have asked him, to change his visitation hours so I can work and be home on time for the exchange but he has refused. Who is going to hire me in this economy if I have to ask the employer to accommodate me with my set hours and schedule!? I can’t go back to court because I don’t have anymore money to pay attorneys fees, but in my opinion my ex-husband has 2 attorney’s that have and will represent him in court for free because one is a family member and the other is a friend & in the pst they both have represented him in court. As for the rest of the time, I have someone who can watch my daughter after school while I’m at work but only until 5:00 P.M. but she will not to go through the exchange process. I need help or support, again to payoff my debts, find a job which will work with my schedule until I can go back to court and modify my visitation, that’s if the judge grants my request, or maybe there’s an attorney out there that will have mercy on me and represent me in court without charging to modify our visitation. I need to work and I need help.

Thank you

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Due to having cancer twice I cannot get life insurance. I am the father of three children under the age of five. With my student loan in excess of 0,000, any money that I would be able to save for my children instead goes to paying off my monthly student loans. I have taken all the forbearances I can and cannot consolidate to any lower monthly payments. I filed for bankruptcy in 1999 after my second bout with cancer as I was unable to work during my treatments and was told student loans could no be filed under bankruptcy.

If there are any grants, organizations or philanthropists that could help a two time cancer survivor pay off his student loan, I would then be able to start saving for my children’s future since I am unable to get a life insurance policy due to my cancer history. I would be eternally thankful for any resources that I can work with to help me with this hardship. Thank you.

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Dear president Bush, I am30 years old been in serving in a little church that had lots of rules since I was 16 I have worked since I was 15 and have tried everything like college for 5 years or more and food industry along with sales fetting no where financially I admit I am a little slow with comprehending paperwork things Ifinally found nails to be the career I want to keep but for 7 yrs pursuing it things came up I started in a salon ,no walkins,1and a half yrs later filed bankruptcy after having a level credit got another job before filing to avoid banckruptcy.then tried again then my brother won full custody of his kid and wanted my help so I quit dong nails went back into teaching which i dislike and for my church under min.wage across town 6 days a week and raised her for 6 months got credit cards to pay gas,her toys and clothes food etc cause she came with none, found out my brother was doing drugs gave her back went back into nails in which the owners sold the salon to a new boss who fired me when I dislocated my kneecap and tore ligaments in which i am awaiting surgery,and cant get unemployment cause it was cash pay and ssi says i didnt put into it wheres the $i have worked for since i was 15 before i did nails.I cant get medical cause Im 30 without kids.My dad has helped me here and there I lived in a trailor by myself I have never depended on men to treat me cause of the raising in that church I wish I did have a kid so I could get help but Im always last on the list or not on the list at all .Ido have a major gift to sing and thats sbout it could you please help me Im still trying to build a clientelle doing nails unmarried with no insurance and in debt bad please respond.Aside from the drama in my life Bush I think you are doing an awsome job and you continue to stand your ground stay with your godly morals and reject any foolishness the media saysthat is not of God i pray for u oftenthankyou anyway

Comments (6)

Dear president Bush, I am30 years old been in serving in a little church that had lots of rules since I was 16 I have worked since I was 15 and have tried everything like college for 5 years or more and food industry along with sales fetting no where financially I admit I am a little slow with comprehending paperwork things Ifinally found nails to be the career I want to keep but for 7 yrs pursuing it things came up I started in a salon ,no walkins,1and a half yrs later filed bankruptcy after having a level credit got another job before filing to avoid banckruptcy.then tried again then my brother won full custody of his kid and wanted my help so I quit dong nails went back into teaching which i dislike and for my church under min.wage across town 6 days a week and raised her for 6 months got credit cards to pay gas,her toys and clothes food etc cause she came with none, found out my brother was doing drugs gave her back went back into nails in which the owners sold the salon to a new boss who fired me when I dislocated my kneecap and tore ligaments in which i am awaiting surgery,and cant get unemployment cause it was cash pay and ssi says i didnt put into it wheres the $i have worked for since i was 15 before i did nails.I cant get medical cause Im 30 without kids.My dad has helped me here and there I lived in a trailor by myself I have never depended on men to treat me cause of the raising in that church I wish I did have a kid so I could get help but Im always last on the list or not on the list at all .Ido have a major gift to sing and thats sbout it could you please help me Im still trying to build a clientelle doing nails unmarried with no insurance and in debt bad please respond.Aside from the drama in my life Bush I think you are doing an awsome job and you continue to stand your ground stay with your godly morals and reject any foolishness the media saysthat is not of God i pray for u oftenthankyou anyway

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Your Open QuestionShow me another »
I need some advice please… Should I leave my husband?
I have been married for almost 6 years. Im 24 and he is 26. We have two young daughters: 3 & 5. The whole time we have been married he has cheated, numerous of times and the worst part is once it was with my sister for 8 months. and the last time was last August a weekend fling and the other woman lied and claimed she was pregnant and wasnt… He also is very abusive, mental..physical..and verbal… mainly the verbal and thats practically an every day thing… calling me every name in the book… even at times infront of our children… I love him. but not inlove.. theres a huge difference… We married young and we have even talked about divorce several of times and that we would be better off as friends… but for some reason we keep holding on… We just moved from SDakota to FL in november and I am alone here with no family.. Just his… We are staying with his dad and its a night mare… I feel so unwanted. and as if Im an outcast… (im white and he is Jamaican) so a huge cultural difference there… His dad doesnt really like me and I can tell by his actions…

I cry every day almost because I want out and cant stand being mistreated.. I have an opportunity to leave without him knowing next month… but I need to wait til after we file bankruptcy.. (long story)

I have recently begun to talk to a guy I met 8 years ago… he recently divorced a year ago and also has 2 children same ages as mine… We want to be together and we have so much in common… He knows my circumstances and wants me out.. says its not a good situation for my kids and I.. and we both are developing feelings for each other… He is willing to fly down here from SD. and bring us back home… he says im a dream come true… and wants us to be a family and treat me with the respect that I and the kids deserve… and I trust him… The only thing that Im scared of is leaving… its a huge change… and I know Ill be happy and safer…. My whole family wants me back home because they have seen the bruises on me before.. and heard the stories… also my husband was in jail last year for choking me and beating up my 19 yr old brother…. my brother steped in as he was choking me… and it was a mess…

like I said I still love him at times… but its not inlove feelings… I look at my husband with anger and pain and 90% of me wants out… I need some advice PLEASE!!!!!!

Also like I said before Im waiting to file bankruptcy… we are in the process of foreclosure in SD. and have delinquent/charged off credit cards, and medical bills.. and a repoed car from January… He has messed up my life… If I knew I would be ok to wait and file bankruptcy at a later date I would leave ASAP… but I have a judgement against me on a medical bill… so I think the smart thing would be to stay here and wait it out til after bankruptcy….

I WANT TRUE ADVICE!!! and please no degrading me… I hear it everyday from him and cant take it anymore…. SO PLEASE HELP ME!

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Sorry for being long.

I got married late in life. I was 34 and she was 27. We couldn’t have kids for some reason so we eventually adopted 4 kids. They are now 10, 8, 7, and 6. Things went pretty good in our marriage till we adopted the last 2 they are biological brother and sister. My ex never wanted to adopt them. She claims I forced her to adopt them. She found out she could still get money each month for these kids because they have emotional problems. She started to be I would say to the point of emotional abuse with them. She finally kicked me out of the house after a fight because I would not punish them the way she wanted them to be punished.

I moves in with my mother who was dying and took care of her till she died. I ended up started therapy and anti depressant. Paxill. It’s been 2 years now and the divorce is finally finalized. I inherited all the credit card debt ,000. My attorney cost me ,000. I still owe him ,000. I will haveto file for bankruptcy.

In the meantime. I work in a hospital my boss and I got into it he wanted me fired. I ended up switching departments and started working the graveyard shift. Part of the divorce I got the kids 35% of the time. My ex wanted me to have them only 10% so I got a pretty good time with them.

My ex still treats the youngest 2 different. Never hugs them or tells them they are loved which she does with the older 2. She also has told them to there face that the girl will be pregnant by the time she’s 15 and the boy will be in a group home by the time he’s 12.

I moved into a condominium 1/2 mile away from the kids. I am renting it. It’s the cheapest place in town. With rent, child support, utilities , phone and car payment(my credit is ruined can’t get another car). With that going out I have no money even for food. Easy solution would be get a second job. I am 17 months away from retiring from the hospital. Last week I was rushed to the emergency room with a perferated colon. Stayed in the hospital for 5 days. They may haveto operate when the colon heals. My ex wouldn’t bring the kids up to see me or give me a call. My boss is being very good to me. I have been calling into work 2-3 times a month for the last 2 months. She is moving me to the afternoon shift next week that way if I need time off work there are more people to cover. Right now I am still very weak I will probably haveto go back part time. There is no way right now to get a part time job. In the meantime I contacted my ex since my visitation hasto change she has agreed to only 1/2 the amount that I used to have with the kids. Meaning 78 hours a month less. I have my attorney helping me with that.

My kids are my entire life. I can’t cope when they are not with me. About a month ago I was to the point of suicide. I know I wouldn’t do it for the kids sake. They changed my depression meds to celexa now. My siblings are mad at me because they want me to let my ex take 100% custody. So I don’t even have them backing me up.

I have so much crap going on and whenever I say it can’t get worse it does. How can I stay above water and not sink. I am to my breaking point again.

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I am a computer professional with 11 years experience, some college, some tech school, no degrees. After school, I was unemployed from late 2008-2010 because apparently we are in the throes of our 2nd great depression. Currently I work at the only job in my city that was willing to hire me; a gas station. I am a clerk dodging bullets on third shift, dealing with people writing their names on the bathroom wall in feces, and bringing home 240 bucks or less every two weeks. I was denied foodstamps and healthcare by the state of WI, so to survive during almost 2 years of unemployment before landing my gas station career I took out a credit card to buy food, gas, and outrageously priced cigarettes as I’ve been unable to quit (judge if you must). Currently I have racked up nearly 13,000 dollars of credit card debt. Each month I pay in 200 to one card, and 120 to another leaving just enough for rent… most of the time. (Not electric bill, food or other expenses). I have been applying to an average of 5 jobs per day only to be ignored time and again, and last week I gave up completely on looking for work, and have decided to enjoy my life a little rather than hanging out at a job center every day off. I own nothing. I have a beater ford escort from the early 90s that I purchased for 250 dollars cash, a matress, some sheets, and a couch I picked up off a corner. I also own a dartboard and a cheap handgun given to me by my girlfriend’s father (which I think about using daily). Not really worried about the repo man coming to call if you know what I mean. Since all the debt was used buying perishable goods, and since I can’t find work, I am thinking my best course of action would be to file chapter 7 bankruptcy so I can once again sleep at night, riding my bike in the summer, not working winters, and just stealing food to survive. Being white and having no children it’s more than obvious welfare won’t work for me. Just looking for some insight… maybe someone has some advice for me.
It’s my understanding they can only garnish wages in a chapter 13 bankruptcy, and even then, only on disposable income. Making just under 00 dollars a year, this just isn’t feasible to repay. It’s starting to look like this is my version of a government bailout…

Comments (1)

I am tired of collection companies and interest rates.What happens if you just don’t pay anything and just don´t go for Bankruptcy.?? Is it going to clear from my credit score one day or is it going to keep follow me after I die.???
Can you please someone explain to me?, what happens if you just do nothing. Is it end of the world.?
When you pay on time you are a good person, once you miss one payment you are in the Black List. Is it fair?
I don´t want to live according to some numbers anymore.
Am I not qualified to have anything I want because I don´t have a Good Credit Score.
Am I not qualified to live very simple life because I have a low numbers.
Who decides this?

Comments (2)

My other house went to foreclosure and now the mortgage insurance company is suing me for 0,000. I don’t want to file for bankruptcy, but do I have to?

I have a homestead on my home. I’m retired and living on a pension and barely make ends meet (I know I will have to find a part-time job soon after the little bit of cash I have runs out). I don’t have anymore money in the bank except for my pension, no stocks, I took money from my life insurance policy which I already spent, no other properties, no jewelry, and I drive a 17-year old car. I do have money in my 401k and IRA, which people tell me they cannot touch. I know I can’t go to jail. What can they take from me or do to me, legally? Any advice is very much appreciated. Thanks.

Comments (4)

I sold my car last year to someone for 00. He gave me 0 up front and we drew up a contract stating that the rest would be due no later than December 6th, 2010. When the time came, after many missed emails and calls he told me the car was in the shop and that he couldn’t pay it right then. After a great amount of emails and calls that went unanswered, I showed up at his house and asked his mom if he was there. He told me he had to file for bankruptcy and his lawyer told him not to say anything to anyone. He told me the car "had been taken" and told me to talk to his lawyer about it. After trying to leave a message at his office three times, the secretary got fed up and told me that there probably wasn’t anything that they could do for me and that I was named in the papers but they didn’t have the car and they have no idea who has the car. After this, I decided to do a bit of snooping online and have enough evidence to show that he still has the car and is even in fact trying to sell it online. He won’t respond to calls and keeps redirecting me to his lawyer. His lawyer answered the phone today surprisingly and told me that I was named as an unsecured creditor and that my pitfall was in not declaring a lien on the car when I drew up the contract. I asked him
‘If I were to go to his house and ask for the car back, would he have to give it to me?’
‘Bear in mind that he is my client and everything I say will be in his argument, but no, he has a right to the car because you gave him the title after signing the contract.’

I tried to contact a lawyer but he said he’d charge me 0 for a consultation.

I told the kid I’d need the money by the end of December so I knew I was going to be able to afford taking summer classes this year. Now I’m broke and can’t afford summer classes and might even
have to graduate late..this guy is ruining my life.

What should I do?

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I understood why we invaded Afghanistan to get rid of the Taliban. Our troops were very successful in this venture. From Alexander The Great until now has shown how futile it is to keep troops there indefinitely! The British could not and the Russians went bankrupt over it. The United States is on the brink of bankruptcy, but still keeps pouring more money and the precious lives of our soldiers into that debacle!

I would appreciate if somebody can give me good solid reasons why we are not out of there?

Comments (9)

I just graduated college a couple months ago and can’t find work. I let my family take advantage of me and run credit cards up, so now I am ,000 in credit card debt. Part of which is a ,000 Care Credit account my step dad used to get false teeth after having his knocked out in an accident.

Now they are ignoring the debts they accumulated and promised to pay or they make excuses why they can’t. I’m an idiot for trusting them! I have sold everything I own to pay for the bankruptcy. I am being sued by two of the creditors.

I have no choice but to file bankruptcy since I have no income and no assets. I am seriously thinking suicide might be an option as I have always valued responsibility and utterly embarrassed by this situation.

I’m so frustrated. How can my stepdad put his teeth in every morning and not feel bad about the utter horror he is putting me in? To make matters worse, he just put a new pond and water fountain in for me mom for mother’s day, complete with bridge and all the pretties. They are also buying a new truck.

I hate my life. Is there a chance for me to recover from this and live a normal life? I am still keeping my car which I am current on payments, but I’m scared and confused.

Comments (6)

Hello, thanks for taking the time to read this. I’m a 14 year old male and I don’t know how my life is going to turn out at this point. I live with my mom and sister while my father passed away when I was only 4, since then my mother hasn’t remarried. My mother has a fairly decent job which barley makes enough to pay the mortgage while my sister who is 26 and still unmarried has unfortunately just lost her job last week due to bankruptcy and is currently looking for a job that makes a good amount of income. My family struggles to pay the mortgage each month with little leftover for new clothes or to afford a new car.

All the time I hear my mom fighting over the phone with my grandmother and her sister who don’t help us at all and always ask or need something from us when we don’t even have enough to even support ourselves. My mother seems stressed and very depressed these days and gets angry when my father comes to her mind. Most of my family has died out just leaving us and lots of cousins but, they don’t keep in touch and wouldn’t want to help us in anyway. I don’t know why it has to be like this… shouldn’t family stick together and help each other out?

We are planning to sell the house this month and down-grade as well as another reason is that the area around us is becoming less secure and more violent. It makes me feel bad that we have to always lose more and more and I can’t really do anything about it or do something useful for anyone. I constantly get yelled at each day as well as have very offensive language used towards me for not doing anything right or being of any use to them. I swear I can’t do anything right and when I get called stupid I really do feel stupid and worthless.

Then there’s school. I really dislike school a lot! I have no good friends I just hang around a group of people everyday until the day is over just making those fake smiles and laughs while I’m around them so they see I don’t feel left out or anything. My best friend moved far away 2 years ago and we don’t talk much anymore. I do get invited out once in a while by some of the people at school so it’s not really much of a issue to me that I haven’t found the right friend who likes me for who I am. I seem like a very timid person at first to a lot of people but after a while I start to become more interactive with them and more conversational. I have also lost my motivation to go to school each day, I just really hate it there and waking up each morning. My grades have been dropping to I have been getting B’s and C’s these days, and not really putting in any effort into my work.

My mother always wants me to be a successful and outgoing person but, I’m pretty sure she’s given up faith on me. She expects me to be a doctor or scientist, I’m not against it or anything but I don’t really want any of those career choices she brings up. Something I love to do myself is dance and do choreography I believe that I am really good at it, such as if I would watch a music video or performance for a certain song such as Lady GaGa, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson etc.. I can immediately copy and perform the choreography in the video and do it precisely and very accurately. I even watch other peoples tutorials to see if I did it right and I see that I have done it perfectly. I also love music extremely much and I write my own songs and I have had compliments on my work from people who barley even know me saying that I am an amazing songwriter. A lot of the songs I write aren’t about love there more of a dance/party and feel good about yourself type of song. I have told my mom multiple times that I want to become a choreographer or ball room dancer and she tells me that it’s useless , I’m not that talented, or I won’t ever make it. I don’t want to cause more problems and start an argument so I just walk away and feel really upset afterwards. It’s my vision and what if I want to follow it? I don’t care if nobody believes in me there’s still a chance I can make that vision a reality if I really dedicate myself to it. I don’t know what to do… Go against her decision because she doesn’t believe in me and just wait till im a little older and start taking classes and make it a career?

I wish I could grant everyone happiness and support them because in my life it seems to be all about the money and finding love to them. I feel bad that I don’t have a father or my sister doesn’t have a husband as well as I don’t have a male role model to look up to making me feel less of man. I’m starting to hate life so much and I’m sorry to everyone that I can’t help in anyway. I’m hoping things will change and get better after so many years of problems affecting my family , right now I may live but I don’t feel so alive. I feel like an idiot and that im not smart enough for anything. “How will I survive in my life?” I always ask myself every night. I don’t even want to talk to my mother or sister anymore There’s just

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My husband and I were married in Sept 09. He got insurance the next month Oct. 09 through my work. In December of 09 His legs went paralyzed. He went to ER and then to the University Hospital. Two days later he was diagnosed with Spinal AVM a very rare condition. He had a surgery to embolize and when that did not help he got had a second invasive surgery to cut off the blood supply to the AVM. It was successful. He was able to walk again and pressure was relieved off of his spinal cord.
He was scheduled to have another surgery to rebuild the disc in his back in December 09. We had an authorization to have the surgery. That one never happened.
For this first surgery we received letters stating a pre existing condition investigation was going on and claims were pending. We never got any response when we call the Lovelace Sandia company. Just figured we would wait to see what they said. We were sure they would pay.
As time went by they found another AVM six months later and he had another surgery. They paid all of these claims and had a authorization for this second one..
We just got a bill, after no other communication from the insurance co, for 0,000 from the hospital. Obviously we cannot pay that bill. Will never be able to pay that. We are newly weds with one income. That is more than my home is worth.
I looked up the claims. There are too many to count. At one time a payment was made for ,000 and then deducted. We turned in all the papers they asked for and so did the doctors. We had no idea my husband had Spinal AVM until the day before his emergency surgery. What is my course of action to take. Also we are married now. Will this effect my credit? Everything is under my name, house cars etc. My husband has no assets and ok credit. I have great credit. Will we have to file bankruptcy? Or can he just file?
The only thing the letters say is that if we do not agree with the outcome of their decision then we can appeal it in a written letter. How would I go about that? There are so many different claims under so many different doctors but at the same hospital. Do I need to get a lawyer?
More background info.
My husband just finished school. the surgery actually kept him from graduating on time. I am the only one with income as of now. All the bills, assets are under my name. I own a rental house on my own and our home with my father. I have been getting bill collector calls asking for my husband (phone recorded messages that I know are from this.
I plan to write the appeal but don’t know how or what to say…We are very stressed about this. My husband still suffers nerve damage and is learning how to live a normal life. Not all of his functions are back to normal yet either. Please help with advice. We are on the verge of losing our minds after everything we have gone through together. i can’t take anything else… Wishing to have a happy healthy life with my new husband.
If they were going to deny based on pre-existing condition then why would they pay for the second surgery completely??
We don’t know what type it was (1-4)?. He did not have insurance before. He was a full time student. He had x-rays about 11 months before the episode. No treatment. Did not know such a thing existed. My question is what course of action to take not tell me you think It was pre-existing condition.

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Hello, thanks for taking the time to read this. I’m a 14 year old male and I don’t know how my life is going to turn out at this point. I live with my mom and sister while my father passed away when I was only 4, since then my mother hasn’t remarried. My mother has a fairly decent job which barley makes enough to pay the mortgage while my sister who is 26 and still unmarried has unfortunately just lost her job last week due to bankruptcy and is currently looking for a job that makes a good amount of income. My family struggles to pay the mortgage each month with little leftover for new clothes or to afford a new car.

All the time I hear my mom fighting over the phone with my grandmother and her sister who don’t help us at all and always ask or need something from us when we don’t even have enough to even support ourselves. My mother seems stressed and very depressed these days and gets angry when my father comes to her mind. Most of my family has died out just leaving us and lots of cousins but, they don’t keep in touch and wouldn’t want to help us in anyway. I don’t know why it has to be like this… shouldn’t family stick together and help each other out?

We are planning to sell the house this month and down-grade as well as another reason is that the area around us is becoming less secure and more violent. It makes me feel bad that we have to always lose more and more and I can’t really do anything about it or do something useful for anyone. I constantly get yelled at each day as well as have very offensive language used towards me for not doing anything right or being of any use to them. I swear I can’t do anything right and when I get called stupid I really do feel stupid and worthless.

Then there’s school. I really dislike school a lot! I have no good friends I just hang around a group of people everyday until the day is over just making those fake smiles and laughs while I’m around them so they see I don’t feel left out or anything. My best friend moved far away 2 years ago and we don’t talk much anymore. I do get invited out once in a while by some of the people at school so it’s not really much of a issue to me that I haven’t found the right friend who likes me for who I am. I seem like a very timid person at first to a lot of people but after a while I start to become more interactive with them and more conversational. I have also lost my motivation to go to school each day, I just really hate it there and waking up each morning. My grades have been dropping to I have been getting B’s and C’s these days, and not really putting in any effort into my work.

My mother always wants me to be a successful and outgoing person but, I’m pretty sure she’s given up faith on me. She expects me to be a doctor or scientist, I’m not against it or anything but I don’t really want any of those career choices she brings up. Something I love to do myself is dance and do choreography I believe that I am really good at it, such as if I would watch a music video or performance for a certain song such as Lady GaGa, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson etc.. I can immediately copy and perform the choreography in the video and do it precisely and very accurately. I even watch other peoples tutorials to see if I did it right and I see that I have done it perfectly. I also love music extremely much and I write my own songs and I have had compliments on my work from people who barley even know me saying that I am an amazing songwriter. A lot of the songs I write aren’t about love there more of a dance/party and feel good about yourself type of song. I have told my mom multiple times that I want to become a choreographer or ball room dancer and she tells me that it’s useless , I’m not that talented, or I won’t ever make it. I don’t want to cause more problems and start an argument so I just walk away and feel really upset afterwards. It’s my vision and what if I want to follow it? I don’t care if nobody believes in me there’s still a chance I can make that vision a reality if I really dedicate myself to it. I don’t know what to do… Go against her decision because she doesn’t believe in me and just wait till im a little older and start taking classes and make it a career?

I wish I could grant everyone happiness and support them because in my life it seems to be all about the money and finding love to them. I feel bad that I don’t have a father or my sister doesn’t have a husband as well as I don’t have a male role model to look up to making me feel less of man. I’m starting to hate life so much and I’m sorry to everyone that I can’t help in anyway. I’m hoping things will change and get better after so many years of problems affecting my family , right now I may live but I don’t feel so alive. I feel like an idiot and that im not smart enough for anything. “How will I survive in my life?” I always ask myself every night. I don’t even want to talk to my mother or sister anymore There’s j

Comments (4)

I have never been paranoid, or fearful in general, but due to being attacked from trying to work, some people trying to get $ off me from lawsuits.resulting in being attacked,I am fearful. Strange things going on here. Someone stole my marriage lic, my voter’s reg card. Other things stolen…identity theft? I lost my career here. I was able to work when I arrived. I am not able to work now. I keep getting offers for life ins, Many crime committed against me here..
Many issuesdragged up again. I worked for State 6 yurs. was a licensed person,with security clearance, STRESS.k. Have been attacked four times, REL TO WORK, Olooking for work.lMy husband who was alive then was fully aware of it. We e were legally married, established over and over.. I hve been told by many people he is dead. My marriage lic disappeared after I talked to the preacher who married us, outside re something. We appeared in court, we had a ceremony, blood tests. He went to a lot of effort to marry me. We dated 4 yrs, This had sentimental value to me. He was father of my children. Iwas told by many people,agencies he is deceased, church, relatives, funeral homes, said he is deceased. I did not get to go to the funeral. I did not know in time, and might not have been able to go.
I have been the victim of many scams to get money from lawsuits. Manylies have been told on me, churches have been involved in dirt done to me and much hurt., much defamation of character. , if someone attacks me…something bad happens,no matter how much later it is, if I laugh, it means it did not happen or was not serious. I cope by humor at times. It is not inappropriate.
I am afraid for my life, offers of l,ife ins, pressure to get life ins.I would be terrified to get life ins. Threatened with rape? I have not been attacked here yet. I do not want to go where I came from 6 yrs ago. People die very young here, been threatened. My hsb and I were hetero, Christian Cons. Went to church for most of our married life, often. I cannot leave my apt. w.o.someone coming in, stealing. They lie about it I CAME to work, sane, competent. been working full time for yrs. I have no morals problem.never used illegal drugs, NO sex b4married. not had sex in 25 yrs. Would not go out with a married man, would sue him. never drugaddiction,ained wt due to poverty,, IN POVERTY, forced to stay MOST OF TIME, .contingency followed me here to get $.looking for that Swiss Bank acctwhich does not exist. I anot in need of med. never a major mental illness . I am not schizoid, schizophrenic, bipolar. Had cig. addictionS, two..Never needed diet pill….Not in need of surgery.Not having a physical or taking psych drugs. Someoone has a lawsuit going based on big fat compulsive lies.They keep coming into my home,going through my things. no right. seen all I have, steal from me.No sense, or character.
Makes me sick God knows what vile filthy trash do here. I committed no crime. I came licensed, healthy, well able to work. I was not in need of,nor planning to file bankruptcy, or retire for seven years, pt time work.at what I wanted. Strung me along I would get work in career until my cash,credit exhausted. I was neat, clean,, professional. told I would be able,no reason to not work in hosp in profession.denied work, blocked at job serv.HR get me to consumer credit,hen to bankrupcy att so they could investigate my belongings, cREDIT RUINED, NO HOME, no apt. no work.career gone, this time forever. Where I came from, gt into my purse at work, g the key,into my home my PC. Harassed me otj. Went in did inventory to see they wanted to sue me. I was nurse, sent people there to visit to see, planning to terminate me,sue me. No cause to sue me I SPANKED NO PT.
Set my house on fire so Fire Dept, into my home..wife worked in nh had taken care of my Mother in nh where she was.SHE died suddenly.
He also worked for ambulance service. Having major problems with a man from the amb service who stalked me, ran me out of apt another town,, THEN STALKED me back to where my sister lived. I commited no crime.Psychos. Greed. He is not someone I know. I have seen a relative of the ambulance man s wife here, saw amb. atten. here, & man who abducted, attacked me when I came from job interview. cops do not care. The man
in my apt. threatened, intimidated me Want moneyf or this hca.
I was blocked from work. Now, they are going remodel apt. allegedly.
WeSoLowSki from AnEtt. DooLee bought it same name as apt name for state.
sTHIS FED.. I HAVE NO LAWYER. ALWAYS LEGAL REP.always. nEEDed no guardian ever had none ever.. Trying to get $ off things for which statues passed I could do nothing about They probably got it, need to bury me now. I am not safe. 45 min from dtr.SCARED to death, blatant abuse of powe and disreagard for rmy privacy. I am ill now.. Sick.."nOT ABLE TO WORK. sAID "FIRST i EAT" . Almost confined. Ill.

Comments (4)

okay, i need advice. im nearly 21 years old, and working at a fast food joint. i made a stupid decision when i was 18-19..got in a car accident with no insurance, and hit two different cars. each car insurance company was wanting 4500 from me, i had been paying 100 bucks a month to each company since this all happened. a medical injury bill came in from one of the companies, so instead of 4500, i owed 17,000. along with this accident, i have criminal fines i have to pay (did stupid things when i was younger) that total out to about 3-4500. i realize bankruptcy wont relieve me of my fines.

my mother also put me in debt with my debit card, making me owe 2000 dollars. so, im paying 300 bucks a month in the accident/credit card alone. plus 100 to one fine. and my wages are going to be garnished (25 percent) for a bit for another fine (i didnt know i had other fines that still needed to be paid..ive had a rough start in my life, i want nothing more than to pay these things off)

if i add all that up, thats 700 bucks a month total in debt. or aroud 400-500 after my wages arent garnished anymore. i make about 1,000 a month. im renting out a room in a house. i own nothing.

i saw a lawyer, he said it’d be a good idea to file because its better to do it while you’re young than older..because i dont have anything to lose, and i dont plan on buying a house anytime soon, or a brand new car (i prefer buying from craigslist)..so im thinking it might be a good idea to file. i know its a last resort, so im seeking advice from the more mature and wise. 100 bucks a month to a 17k debt..thats about 15-16 years of paying that. every month i call, they say if i miss a payment, then our agreement is over and ill owe it all. in 15 years, thats a lot of chance to miss a payment, or slip. also, the lawyer told me that having this unpaid debt over my head, for so long looks awful. and my credit may never be decent, until its actually paid off and clear.

the sooner i have this debt clear, the sooner i can put more money into my criminal debt, so i can wash my hands from that. i mean, i realize that 20-21k in debt isnt that much. but, in my situation..and given how much i can actually afford right now.. ill be stuck in the same puddle for a very long time, BARELY squeezing by..for years. atleast 2-3 maybe 4, which is when i’d expect to get most of my other debt off besides the 17k collection.

what do you think? i live in washington if it matters. also, i am thnking about going to a trade school and getting into the medical field..like being an xray tech or some sort.. i know bankruptcy would disable me from getting a job at a bank (well more than likely) for example..

Comments (1)

What happens to many athletes and their money is indeed hard to believe. In this month alone Saints alltime leading rusher Deuce McAllister filed for bankruptcy protection for the Jackson, Miss., car dealership he owns; Panthers receiver Muhsin Muhammad put his mansion in Charlotte up for sale on eBay a month after news broke that his entertainment company was being sued by Wachovia Bank for overdue credit-card payments; and penniless former NFL running back Travis Henry was jailed for nonpayment of child support.

In a less public way, other athletes from the nation’s three biggest and most profitable leagues—the NBA, NFL and Major League Baseball—are suffering from a financial pandemic. Although salaries have risen steadily during the last three decades, reports from a host of sources (athletes, players’ associations, agents and financial advisers) indicate that:

• By the time they have been retired for two years, 78% of former NFL players have gone bankrupt or are under financial stress because of joblessness or divorce.

• Within five years of retirement, an estimated 60% of former NBA players are broke.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1153364/index.htm

According to Chelmsford wealth counselor Szifra Birke, roughly one-third of lottery winners find themselves in serious financial trouble or in bankruptcy within five years of turning in their winning ticket.

http://www.totalbankruptcy.com/news/articles/miscellaneous/lottery.aspx

Million Florida Lottery Winner Dies Broke
April 25, 2008

Kris Alingod – AHN News Writer

Washington, D.C. (AHN) – A former lottery winner who was facing tax fraud charges died broke early this month, reports said on Thursday.

Alex Toth, who won a million jackpot nearly two decades ago, died early this month, his attorney Bjorn Brunvand is quoted in a report by the Suncoast News. He was scheduled to stand trial in June for filing fake tax forms together with his wife, Rhoda.

Toth and his wife were charged with tax fraud in 2006. His wife has entered a plea agreement with prosecutors, according to the Palm Beach Post.

Florida lottery winner dies penniless

Jackson County Floridan
By Elaine Silvestrini, Media General News Service
Published: April 24, 2008

TAMPA – Former lottery multimillionaire Alex Toth, who was broke and facing tax fraud charges, has died at the age of 60. Toth was scheduled to go on trial in June, accused of filing fake tax returns with his wife, Rhoda, who has pleaded guilty and is awaiting sentencing.

By the time the couple were charged in 2006, authorities said they appeared to have no assets. The million Florida Lotto money won 18 years ago was long gone, and the Hudson couple were living in squalid conditions, their only electricity coming through an extension cord rigged to their car engine.

The Toths said they lost the money through gambling, gifts and living the high life. The money created rifts in their family, leading to a lawsuit between Rhoda Toth and her son in 1996. Toth’s attorney, Bjorn Brunvand, said his client died in early April. Pasco County Health Department spokeswoman Deanna Krautner confirmed Alex Joseph Toth died April 5. The cause of death was not released.

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