Your Open QuestionShow me another »
I need some advice please… Should I leave my husband?
I have been married for almost 6 years. Im 24 and he is 26. We have two young daughters: 3 & 5. The whole time we have been married he has cheated, numerous of times and the worst part is once it was with my sister for 8 months. and the last time was last August a weekend fling and the other woman lied and claimed she was pregnant and wasnt… He also is very abusive, mental..physical..and verbal… mainly the verbal and thats practically an every day thing… calling me every name in the book… even at times infront of our children… I love him. but not inlove.. theres a huge difference… We married young and we have even talked about divorce several of times and that we would be better off as friends… but for some reason we keep holding on… We just moved from SDakota to FL in november and I am alone here with no family.. Just his… We are staying with his dad and its a night mare… I feel so unwanted. and as if Im an outcast… (im white and he is Jamaican) so a huge cultural difference there… His dad doesnt really like me and I can tell by his actions…

I cry every day almost because I want out and cant stand being mistreated.. I have an opportunity to leave without him knowing next month… but I need to wait til after we file bankruptcy.. (long story)

I have recently begun to talk to a guy I met 8 years ago… he recently divorced a year ago and also has 2 children same ages as mine… We want to be together and we have so much in common… He knows my circumstances and wants me out.. says its not a good situation for my kids and I.. and we both are developing feelings for each other… He is willing to fly down here from SD. and bring us back home… he says im a dream come true… and wants us to be a family and treat me with the respect that I and the kids deserve… and I trust him… The only thing that Im scared of is leaving… its a huge change… and I know Ill be happy and safer…. My whole family wants me back home because they have seen the bruises on me before.. and heard the stories… also my husband was in jail last year for choking me and beating up my 19 yr old brother…. my brother steped in as he was choking me… and it was a mess…

like I said I still love him at times… but its not inlove feelings… I look at my husband with anger and pain and 90% of me wants out… I need some advice PLEASE!!!!!!

Also like I said before Im waiting to file bankruptcy… we are in the process of foreclosure in SD. and have delinquent/charged off credit cards, and medical bills.. and a repoed car from January… He has messed up my life… If I knew I would be ok to wait and file bankruptcy at a later date I would leave ASAP… but I have a judgement against me on a medical bill… so I think the smart thing would be to stay here and wait it out til after bankruptcy….

I WANT TRUE ADVICE!!! and please no degrading me… I hear it everyday from him and cant take it anymore…. SO PLEASE HELP ME!

They can get a no money down loan, BUT the property doesn’t have a garage & they will need to build one. The garage is what they want to draw from the 401K for.
I am dead set against this. They THINK they can just take out the money with no penalty & not have to pay it back at all. I think that is wrong.
Mom is a homemaker, Dad has a good paying factory job. He is SUPPOSE to be less than 5 years from retiring!! Mom acts as if she knows their finances inside & out, but when I was a kid, she "handled" the finances by maxing out credit cards & they had to file chapter 13 bankruptcy.
I so badly want my parents to move into a home of their own & stop renting. I think the home they are interested in is the best one suited for them. However, I’m afraid that my dad is going to be the one who suffers because my mom is out of touch with what taking that 401K money means.
Yes, Dad is passive & doesn’t like to "wrestle" with my mom.
It seems so much simpler to just leave the 401K alone & take out another loan for home improvements…….HELP
How do I convince them NOT to use HIS 401K towards a freaking garage?

Yesterday, my family wanted to buy a new car.
We spotted a Camry 2011 Sports Edition at k.
Saleperson was really nice but we asked for k but the saleperson said that he couldn’t do it and need to ask his "manager" if it was ok to to sell it for k.
10 mins later, saleperson was like, ok, the manager said it was ok to sell it for k.
Then manager comes out and asked the saleperson what the hell was he doing. He then suddenly said that we can’t buy that car cause he’ll be losing money if he sell that car to us.
The manager was like… hell no to us. But he did make a deal with us.
He said we can buy that car at 175% interest with ,000 downpayment but he will need to take away those racing wheels away from the car. The final price was ,000 at 50/month.
Then my dad was like, are you joking me?
Then the manager was like, there’s no way that I can sell this car to you for that cheap because your credit score doesn’t even reach 750 and is only at 715 right now, plus you are a bankruptcy person, chapter 13. So it is either you take this deal or no.
(Manager yelled back at my dad so loud that everyone heard that we used to be bankruptcy and also told them our credit score in the entire building. Isn’t those things usually kept private?)
We were bankruptcy in 1991, that was almost over 20 years ago and we paid it all back.

So… what the hell is his problem?
And seriously… do you think they will lose any $$ if they sell a k car for k?
I doubt it unless they bought the car at k.

Anyway, I kinda felt bad for the saleperson, we wasted over 2 hours trying to find a car.
But, do you think the manager sounds racist?
We’re planning on talking to the boss tomorrow.
My bad… the manager is Philippians and we’re Chinese.
I guess I missed this part, he also told us that since We are Chinese, we can’t afford this car and that once you buy it, in 1 month, we’ll throw it back to them. He also told us that we should go back to China and buy a car there.

Well, i just turned 15, and… we moved several times in the past year, and we lost our house and some of our stuff to bankruptcy. First living with my grandmother who is dieing of cancer, and always used to cuss at me. She was always concerned with herself and never even cared… but i can understand that, she is dieing, and she is old. But my dad yells at me all the time… for stupid stuff.. i mean not cleaning up my room, or stuff i don’t even do. He tells me that i can never do anything right, and that i’m fat and lazy. I’m not lazy! I do what is asked of me! I sometimes forget! I’m always so depressed, and i cut myself. My mom never gives me the time of day, nor my dad. I’m home schooled, and I don’t really have any friends in this new town. They are always fighting, and always yelling. My brother calls me a b**ch and other really bad names all of the time. I mostly stay in my room, and just do my schoolwork by myself, (it’s an online school program) and try to stay away from my family. I’m scared that they will yell at me, for something, or fight with each other. I can’t wait to turn 18 and leave. I feel so alone, is this abuse/neglect? I don’t know, or is it me just being over sensitive?

My brother, 47, is going to see a lawyer about bankruptcy, chapter 13. Four years ago he went chapter 7. He has money problems. He is on his own. He lives in a different state, Minn, and has an 8 year old son that he has over every other week. He pays child support of 0 weekly. He tries to be a good dad to his troubled son. He works in printing at a plant in St. Paul with a rotating shift, and works hard earning /hr. He lives alone and pays 0 for rent. He lost his new car to the repo man, isn’t very good with his money and accrued ,000 in debts. He is being sued by a creditor whom he owes ,000. They offered to settle for ,000 with two payments of 0. He is paying off ,000 in back taxes at /month. He is thinking of filing for chapter 13 to pay off these debts and get back on his feet. He wants to get a part time job, but the odd rotating shift makes it hard for him to do so. He doesn’t have any support system, so what should he do?

I have been married for almost 6 years. Im 24 and he is 26. We have two young daughters: 3 & 5. The whole time we have been married he has cheated, numerous of times and the worst part is once it was with my sister for 8 months. and the last time was last August a weekend fling and the other woman lied and claimed she was pregnant and wasnt… He also is very abusive, mental..physical..and verbal… mainly the verbal and thats practically an every day thing… calling me every name in the book… even at times infront of our children… I love him. but not inlove.. theres a huge difference… We married young and we have even talked about divorce several of times and that we would be better off as friends… but for some reason we keep holding on… We just moved from SDakota to FL in november and I am alone here with no family.. Just his… We are staying with his dad and its a night mare… I feel so unwanted. and as if Im an outcast… (im white and he is Jamaican) so a huge cultural difference there… His dad doesnt really like me and I can tell by his actions…

I cry every day almost because I want out and cant stand being mistreated.. I have an opportunity to leave without him knowing next month… but I need to wait til after we file bankruptcy.. (long story)

I have recently begun to talk to a guy I met 8 years ago… he recently divorced a year ago and also has 2 children same ages as mine… We want to be together and we have so much in common… He knows my circumstances and wants me out.. says its not a good situation for my kids and I.. and we both are developing feelings for each other… He is willing to fly down here from SD. and bring us back home… he says im a dream come true… and wants us to be a family and treat me with the respect that I and the kids deserve… and I trust him… The only thing that Im scared of is leaving… its a huge change… and I know Ill be happy and safer…. My whole family wants me back home because they have seen the bruises on me before.. and heard the stories… also my husband was in jail last year for choking me and beating up my 19 yr old brother…. my brother steped in as he was choking me… and it was a mess…

like I said I still love him at times… but its not inlove feelings… I look at my husband with anger and pain and 90% of me wants out… I need some advice PLEASE!!!!!!

Also like I said before Im waiting to file bankruptcy… we are in the process of foreclosure in SD. and have delinquent/charged off credit cards, and medical bills.. and a repoed car from January… He has messed up my life… If I knew I would be ok to wait and file bankruptcy at a later date I would leave ASAP… but I have a judgement against me on a medical bill… so I think the smart thing would be to stay here and wait it out til after bankruptcy….

I WANT TRUE ADVICE!!! and please no degrading me… I hear it everyday from him and cant take it anymore…. SO PLEASE HELP ME!

My fathers lawyer asked that he provide his Federal 1040 returns dating back to 2006 – where can we get them from? Should my dad have copies – meaning, is this something that people keep as a receipt or is it sent back to the state? If the latter (or if my dad, for whatever reason, can’t find them), can we get them from online or any brick and mortar location?

My fathers lawyer asked that he provide his Federal 1040 returns dating back to 2006 – where can we get them from? Should my dad have copies – meaning, is this something that people keep as a receipt or is it sent back to the state? If the latter (or if my dad, for whatever reason, can’t find them), can we get them from online or any brick and mortar location?

My dad is in chapter 13 and his friend wants to give him a Timeshare which is already paid for in full. My dad would be responsible only for the maintenance fees (around 0 a year). His friend wants to get rid of the Timeshare because he will move to Europe and doesn’t want to keep it anymore.
Can my dad get it without the authorization of the Trustee since he wont get a loan to pay for it since its already paid by his friend?
Can the debtors find out that my dad owns a Timeshare if my dad get it from his friend?
What could the trustee say if he finds out that my dad owns a Timeshare? As fas as I know my dad needs authorization from the trustee if he wants to buy anything more than 0.00 but since the timeshare will be a gift from his friend he is not sure what to do. He’ll ask his lawyer next week but he asked me to give it a try here and see if we get good answers

of the car getting repoed? How long will it take? Does the Trustee have to notify my dad? I cant afford to pay the car. Its either pay the car or live on the street with my 3 kids.

I am now 27 years old, I have owed probably about 6 companies a total of mabe 6-8 thousnad dollars since I have been 18-19. I went online and checked my credit report and I saw that all of my old debts are not on there. the only debt is a lawfirm that is suing me for, 00.00 My dad said "after a certain amount of time they will be written off". What the hell is a write off and what really happened to my 00.00 in debt??
and can i still file bankruptcy because that is what I really want to do>

Thanks everybody and have a safe holidy season!

Hey,

Please read this, I need help – this depression is affecting my life dramatically…what do I do?

About a year ago, I let my dad borrow about ,000 because he was on REALLY hard times. I had worked all that summer as an EMT (I had earned my cert the summer before). I became an EMT to explore the medical field, as I want to be a doctor.

Anyway, my brother is a football player, and we both live at home. While I worked, he practiced, and he made no money. That is why, at the end of the summer, my dad had to ask for MY entire savings (to pay off the taxes, and to make the home payment).

Shortly after, I lost my job (layed off). I’ve been on really hard times too, but my dad has been paying for whatever I needed. At this point right now, he has actually already paid back a total of ,000 (necessities over that year).

So here’s my problem. I’m not mad that I had to lend my dad the money. In fact, I believe that if I were an only child, I would have been happy to lend it to him.

What I’m mad about…what I can’t stop thinking about…is the fact that while my brother got to spend his time playing football (we both go to a community college, and we both hope to transfer), which could get him a scholarship, I was working. Since I probably won’t get a scholarship (though I have a 3.9 college GPA with over 60 credits completed), as I’m not an athlete, I am REALLY starting to resent the fact that my dad would take that money from me. It doesn’t seem fair. My brother spent no time on work, he earned no money, and therefore he was asked to contribute nothing to the family. Because I worked (even though I, too was working for my future, just in another way), I lost everything. Now I basically wasted a whole summer, I don’t have money to buy a car when I go away to college, and I"m just generally trying to resist becoming bitter over this whole thing. That is what I’m most afraid of – is becoming bitter. I’ve always been fun loving, but lately I’ve been feeling so much anger over this. I feel like my dad messed my whole life up.

There is no way I can ask for the money back now….my parents got a letter in the mail yesterday – it was a notice of foreclosure. Today my dad called a lawyer, and hired him to represent us in a bankruptcy case (as my dad has no income, we might have to go chapter 7…lose the house).

See what’s going on here? gah I feel so frusturated. I feel like my downfall was the fact that I tried to plan for the future. I wanted to save money up, and I did, and now its gone. My dad keeps telling me he’ll pay me back – but I go away to college next year, I need it now. I’m going to either UCLA, USC, Cornell, or Dartmouth.

I am getting ,500 in financial aid next month, which will help, but I’m afraid he’ll ask for some of that – and how can I say no??? But I want to say no. He is a sinking ship right now, I need to salvage all the money I can!

I know I can’t go to college with only ,000, but it bothers me so much that it is gone – especially in light of the fact that my brother contributed nothing. It would’ve been better if I hadn’t worked at all, and just spent the whole summer doing community service or something to put on my resume..though I did put EMT on my resume.

What do I DO??? I don’t want to let this experience ruin my life. I’m letting it take the joy out of everything. I can’t enjoy school this semester, I"m not even talking to my friends as much anymore – just because I"m thinking about this. I can’t live life this way anymore!!

I let my bestfriend drive my car. He got in an accident and now I owe the other driver ,380. We decided to go outside of insurance due to the fact that this is my father’s car and I can not tell him what happened. My father is of an old background and very distrusting. He made me sign and have notorized a piece of paper saying I will not have anyone else drive this car. Well, because of the kind hearted ness I have for my bestfriend I let him drive while his car was in the shop. Bad move. Now I have no money and I need to pay this other driver. She has my insurance information. She’s been nice so far but i can not make a promise i can not keep. I can not tell my father because he will take his car back and not have any interaction with me again. I am not over exaggerating: my father has already not spoken to me for one year because I cosigned a car for a friend. The only reason my dad (along with the rest of the family) started talking to me again was because my grandma died. Can I tell the other driver to call her insurance company and tell her it was my fault and have them sue me individually…then add the bill to my chapter 13 bankruptcy? Or should I just strip or something to make the 2300 dollars. Please help.

My family is pretty average as the middle-class goes. Earning around k a year. But my dad wasn’t so good with the finances and we ended up with a bunch of credit card debt. The filed for Chapter 13 bankruptcy in December and now cannot sign for any loans. My dad says he refuses to contribute any money to my college fund because he wishes to retire when he originally planned to. He won’t make any changes to his buying habits (such as eating out, buying electronics and guns) because he is very stubborn. He feels that if he earned it, it’s his to spend.
I don’t know what kind of loans I can get without a cosigner. I want ones that I wouldn’t have to pay till after I graduate.
I have applied for a few scholarships but it wouldn’t be enough to pay for most of the tuition, even if I win all of them.
I’m hoping to attend a public university (the state I hold residency) which costs around k a year.

I am claiming chapter 7. I started a new job 6 months ago after being out of work for a few months and don’t make enough money to live on. I did get ,000.00 from my dad’s life insurance policy that I had not cashed until recently. My sister had been paying some of my bill’s for me over the past 6 months and even before that because I was between jobs. So when I decided to claim bankruptcy I cashed in the account and gave it to my sister. After paying back what she has been paying for me there is only 4 or 5 thousand left. She has put it into her account. Do I need to tell attorney about this money? and if so will I be able to keep it? I have not had a bank account for months now, but the ,000.00 was in an account under my name with the life insurance company.

I’m under 21 and I’ve had a secured credit card since May of ‘09 with a 0 limit. I’ve tried going to BoA and getting a loan but they only do their personal loans online. There is NO ONE I can ask to cosign (I’m only in CAPS because there is no one my dad died two years ago and my mom has double bankruptcy, I really don’t know any of my relatives as well). I’m not looking for pity or some stupid crap response I just want an honest true solution.
I’ve gone to Walmart and they wouldn’t approve it either. I’ve gotten my credit report and there is no negative items on it.
Ive worked at my current job making 15 an hour for over two years. Ive made every payment early. I think credit card companies are idiots considering I’ve lived on my own for three years and still no one wants to offer me a card with some shitty interest rate.

I am now 27 years old, I have owed probably about 6 companies a total of mabe 6-8 thousnad dollars since I have been 18-19. I went online and checked my credit report and I saw that all of my old debts are not on there. the only debt is a lawfirm that is suing me for, 00.00 My dad said "after a certain amount of time they will be written off". What the hell is a write off and what really happened to my 00.00 in debt??
and can i still file bankruptcy because that is what I really want to do>

Thanks everybody and have a safe holidy season!

I will try to make this as short as possible.
I had a baby at 17 years old (was cautious, and the condom broke). Come from an abusive family, my mom signed away her parental rights when I was younger, and my dad was and is an achoholic. Both were physically and emotionally abusive to me. I have a verbally abusive husband whom I have been fighting with sooo much lately. In my recent past, I have filed for bankruptcy, been struggling with money to provide for my son. I come from a huuuge family, and most of them are backstabbers!
I take medication for Severe anxiety, panic attacks, and chronic depression, and today my life gets even better….
After another fight with my husband, I went to pick up my son from school. On the way back, WHAM. I get sideswiped in my 2007 Toyota that I have to pay through the butt for now to get fixed. We are barely able to support our family (myself, my husband, and I). And now this! This wasn’t even my fault.
I just dont think i want to continue on with my life sometimes. I am only 28, and have been through all this stuff. I can’t handle any more. I keep trying to find the good in things, and I feel like I can no longer do this anymore. Whats the point?
I told my husband what happened and he is pissed because now this is another financial obstacle… I just dont think I can do this anymore..

My boyfriend tried to apply for a credit card at capital one, and he got rejected. He tried taking out a loan for a home, and got rejected. He recently went online to annualcreditreport.com and pulled all of his reports off of there, only to find that his fathers debts were on his credit report because he and his father have the same name. We know his dad did not use his SSN or birthdate to create these debts under his name though, because he himself is going through bankruptcy trying to get these debts cleared off his name. So what were wondering is who do we hold responsible for it? The credit card company? the credit bureau? and what do we do about it?

We know that we can get this removed off his credit report, but were not sure of how to go about things.

& should we be compensated for the troubles he had to go through because of the times hes been denied.

If we decide to take this to court, should we get an attorney?
BTW Bruce, his FATHER is filing bankruptcy, not the son. I know he isn’t lying because I was present for all of it.
THE FATHER FATHER FATHER FATHER IS filing bankruptcy.

We got that clear now lol

I will try to make this as short as possible.
I had a baby at 17 years old (was cautious, and the condom broke). Come from an abusive family, my mom signed away her parental rights when I was younger, and my dad was and is an achoholic. Both were physically and emotionally abusive to me. I have a verbally abusive husband whom I have been fighting with sooo much lately. In my recent past, I have filed for bankruptcy, been struggling with money to provide for my son. I come from a huuuge family, and most of them are backstabbers!
I take medication for Severe anxiety, panic attacks, and chronic depression, and today my life gets even better….
After another fight with my husband, I went to pick up my son from school. On the way back, WHAM. I get sideswiped in my 2007 Toyota that I have to pay through the ass for now to get fixed. We are barely able to support our family (myself, my husband, and I). And now this! This wasn’t even my fault.
I just dont think i want to continue on with my life sometimes. I am only 28, and have been through all this stuff. I can’t handle any more. I keep trying to find the good in things, and I feel like I can no longer do this anymore. Whats the point?
I told my husband what happened and he is pissed because now this is another financial obstacle… I just dont think I can do this anymore..