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I need some advice please… Should I leave my husband?
I have been married for almost 6 years. Im 24 and he is 26. We have two young daughters: 3 & 5. The whole time we have been married he has cheated, numerous of times and the worst part is once it was with my sister for 8 months. and the last time was last August a weekend fling and the other woman lied and claimed she was pregnant and wasnt… He also is very abusive, mental..physical..and verbal… mainly the verbal and thats practically an every day thing… calling me every name in the book… even at times infront of our children… I love him. but not inlove.. theres a huge difference… We married young and we have even talked about divorce several of times and that we would be better off as friends… but for some reason we keep holding on… We just moved from SDakota to FL in november and I am alone here with no family.. Just his… We are staying with his dad and its a night mare… I feel so unwanted. and as if Im an outcast… (im white and he is Jamaican) so a huge cultural difference there… His dad doesnt really like me and I can tell by his actions…

I cry every day almost because I want out and cant stand being mistreated.. I have an opportunity to leave without him knowing next month… but I need to wait til after we file bankruptcy.. (long story)

I have recently begun to talk to a guy I met 8 years ago… he recently divorced a year ago and also has 2 children same ages as mine… We want to be together and we have so much in common… He knows my circumstances and wants me out.. says its not a good situation for my kids and I.. and we both are developing feelings for each other… He is willing to fly down here from SD. and bring us back home… he says im a dream come true… and wants us to be a family and treat me with the respect that I and the kids deserve… and I trust him… The only thing that Im scared of is leaving… its a huge change… and I know Ill be happy and safer…. My whole family wants me back home because they have seen the bruises on me before.. and heard the stories… also my husband was in jail last year for choking me and beating up my 19 yr old brother…. my brother steped in as he was choking me… and it was a mess…

like I said I still love him at times… but its not inlove feelings… I look at my husband with anger and pain and 90% of me wants out… I need some advice PLEASE!!!!!!

Also like I said before Im waiting to file bankruptcy… we are in the process of foreclosure in SD. and have delinquent/charged off credit cards, and medical bills.. and a repoed car from January… He has messed up my life… If I knew I would be ok to wait and file bankruptcy at a later date I would leave ASAP… but I have a judgement against me on a medical bill… so I think the smart thing would be to stay here and wait it out til after bankruptcy….

I WANT TRUE ADVICE!!! and please no degrading me… I hear it everyday from him and cant take it anymore…. SO PLEASE HELP ME!

Comments (16)

Sorry for being long.

I got married late in life. I was 34 and she was 27. We couldn’t have kids for some reason so we eventually adopted 4 kids. They are now 10, 8, 7, and 6. Things went pretty good in our marriage till we adopted the last 2 they are biological brother and sister. My ex never wanted to adopt them. She claims I forced her to adopt them. She found out she could still get money each month for these kids because they have emotional problems. She started to be I would say to the point of emotional abuse with them. She finally kicked me out of the house after a fight because I would not punish them the way she wanted them to be punished.

I moves in with my mother who was dying and took care of her till she died. I ended up started therapy and anti depressant. Paxill. It’s been 2 years now and the divorce is finally finalized. I inherited all the credit card debt ,000. My attorney cost me ,000. I still owe him ,000. I will haveto file for bankruptcy.

In the meantime. I work in a hospital my boss and I got into it he wanted me fired. I ended up switching departments and started working the graveyard shift. Part of the divorce I got the kids 35% of the time. My ex wanted me to have them only 10% so I got a pretty good time with them.

My ex still treats the youngest 2 different. Never hugs them or tells them they are loved which she does with the older 2. She also has told them to there face that the girl will be pregnant by the time she’s 15 and the boy will be in a group home by the time he’s 12.

I moved into a condominium 1/2 mile away from the kids. I am renting it. It’s the cheapest place in town. With rent, child support, utilities , phone and car payment(my credit is ruined can’t get another car). With that going out I have no money even for food. Easy solution would be get a second job. I am 17 months away from retiring from the hospital. Last week I was rushed to the emergency room with a perferated colon. Stayed in the hospital for 5 days. They may haveto operate when the colon heals. My ex wouldn’t bring the kids up to see me or give me a call. My boss is being very good to me. I have been calling into work 2-3 times a month for the last 2 months. She is moving me to the afternoon shift next week that way if I need time off work there are more people to cover. Right now I am still very weak I will probably haveto go back part time. There is no way right now to get a part time job. In the meantime I contacted my ex since my visitation hasto change she has agreed to only 1/2 the amount that I used to have with the kids. Meaning 78 hours a month less. I have my attorney helping me with that.

My kids are my entire life. I can’t cope when they are not with me. About a month ago I was to the point of suicide. I know I wouldn’t do it for the kids sake. They changed my depression meds to celexa now. My siblings are mad at me because they want me to let my ex take 100% custody. So I don’t even have them backing me up.

I have so much crap going on and whenever I say it can’t get worse it does. How can I stay above water and not sink. I am to my breaking point again.

Comments (3)

I have been divroce since January 2009 and at the divorce I agreed that I would pay half of all debt we shared up to the day of Jan1 2009. Now my ex has yet to try and pay any of these things off (they are all in his name) and has let the interest ski rocket on tons of unpaid credit cards. He is trying to get me to pay the amount owed now. I am sure I should only have to pay the amount owed on jan1,2009 correct? Well he is now trying to file for bankruptcy and he wants to file a chapter 7, and if not he wants to file a chapter 13. I honestly do not want to file bankruptcy… i may possibly be getting settlement money and will be able to pay off any debt I owe. He states in the email he wrote me that it would be smart of me to file a chapter7 or not go against him at all… what does that mean exactly? Go against him? Does that mean refusing to file bankruptcy? I am not aware how this works and would love some info! Thanks
I guess the issue is that there is one card with my name on it as well. Now would I be able to not pay the interest that has built up do to not being able to contact the credit card company because my name is not on the cards? How can i be held responisble if I am unable to pay someone due to the name on the account? He states that if he files a chapter 13 that we will BOTH be responsible for the bankruptcy. I do not want to wait the 7 years to cont. with my life… Now since my name is on one of the cards will him filing affect me in anyway?

Comments (5)

To start, I am now pretty humbled. I was making 60k a year, driving a new sports car, and living life happily with minimal debt. My wife and I made some poor financial decisions and I was left with a bit debt after our divorce. It is now at a point where with the economy, working in the sales field, I am only making just under 40k. I have 22k left to pay on the car at 0 a month, paying about 0 a month in gas to travel to my job,about 20k in unsecured debt. I had to abandon my lease in the apartment that I was living in so i have no clue what I owe to them. I tried to trade the vehicle in for something different but trade in is only worth 15k, so about 7k in negative equity, and with a low to mid 500 credit score, nobody is willing to work with me. I have thought about filing a bankruptcy, but even at 40k a year, I am above my means for a chapter 7 bankruptcy according to lawers, and breaking too even per month on a chapter 13. Maybe someone has a idea of a solution. thanks.

Comments (4)

Due to my low income, I have been approved for a reduced fee attorney, costing 00, but I do not get to speak with this attorney, simply pay the fee, submit the debts I want included in BK, relinquish my tax return for 2011 and hope it all goes well. Here are my questions:

1. What is the average cost of BK if you hire a BK attorney? (I live in Kansas, if that helps)
2. Is there any way to make absolutely certain that all of my outstanding debts get covered? (The reason I began to look into BK is because I have a k medical bill for my son’s birth, but when I pulled all 3 credit reports to start getting all of my debts in order for the BK office, I saw that that particular collection wasn’t even listed on any of them. I am afraid that I will go through the work and pay the fee, and then have an unknown debt appear when it’s all said and done).
3. Is there any way to avoid giving up my tax return to the BK courts? My debts are the result of many separations and now a divorce from my ex. 2011 is my year to claim our son, and with another on the way in August, a tax refund would be REALLY helpful. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that my debts are my responsibility and I am not looking for handouts, I just need to be able to start fresh in order to give my family the life that they deserve. My mistakes are my own and I have learned a great deal from them. Now, I need to know how to make things right.

Thanks so much for any help :)

Comments (2)

I have been married for almost 6 years. Im 24 and he is 26. We have two young daughters: 3 & 5. The whole time we have been married he has cheated, numerous of times and the worst part is once it was with my sister for 8 months. and the last time was last August a weekend fling and the other woman lied and claimed she was pregnant and wasnt… He also is very abusive, mental..physical..and verbal… mainly the verbal and thats practically an every day thing… calling me every name in the book… even at times infront of our children… I love him. but not inlove.. theres a huge difference… We married young and we have even talked about divorce several of times and that we would be better off as friends… but for some reason we keep holding on… We just moved from SDakota to FL in november and I am alone here with no family.. Just his… We are staying with his dad and its a night mare… I feel so unwanted. and as if Im an outcast… (im white and he is Jamaican) so a huge cultural difference there… His dad doesnt really like me and I can tell by his actions…

I cry every day almost because I want out and cant stand being mistreated.. I have an opportunity to leave without him knowing next month… but I need to wait til after we file bankruptcy.. (long story)

I have recently begun to talk to a guy I met 8 years ago… he recently divorced a year ago and also has 2 children same ages as mine… We want to be together and we have so much in common… He knows my circumstances and wants me out.. says its not a good situation for my kids and I.. and we both are developing feelings for each other… He is willing to fly down here from SD. and bring us back home… he says im a dream come true… and wants us to be a family and treat me with the respect that I and the kids deserve… and I trust him… The only thing that Im scared of is leaving… its a huge change… and I know Ill be happy and safer…. My whole family wants me back home because they have seen the bruises on me before.. and heard the stories… also my husband was in jail last year for choking me and beating up my 19 yr old brother…. my brother steped in as he was choking me… and it was a mess…

like I said I still love him at times… but its not inlove feelings… I look at my husband with anger and pain and 90% of me wants out… I need some advice PLEASE!!!!!!

Also like I said before Im waiting to file bankruptcy… we are in the process of foreclosure in SD. and have delinquent/charged off credit cards, and medical bills.. and a repoed car from January… He has messed up my life… If I knew I would be ok to wait and file bankruptcy at a later date I would leave ASAP… but I have a judgement against me on a medical bill… so I think the smart thing would be to stay here and wait it out til after bankruptcy….

I WANT TRUE ADVICE!!! and please no degrading me… I hear it everyday from him and cant take it anymore…. SO PLEASE HELP ME!

Comments (16)

Where can I find a loan with poor credit rating? I have a loan with a lender, but, it’s at such a high interest rate and need to get my payments cut. Banks don’t want to talk to me. (No Nigerian lenders, please). I’ve tried Prosper (have a current listing), but no bites, yet. I’m already working 2 jobs and do not want to file for bankruptcy. Divorce has put me in dire straits. Is there ANYONE out there that can help? I myself actually prefer the online best payday loan lenders but i dont know what site I should do the search. Can you help? Thanks

Comments (1)

Where can I find a loan with poor credit rating? I have a loan with a lender, but, it’s at such a high interest rate and need to get my payments cut. Banks don’t want to talk to me. (No Nigerian lenders, please). I’ve tried Prosper (have a current listing), but no bites, yet. I’m already working 2 jobs and do not want to file for bankruptcy. Divorce has put me in dire straits. Is there ANYONE out there that can help? I myself actually prefer online bad credit payday loans lenders but i dont know what site I should do the search. Can you help? Thanks

Comments (2)

My "ex" entered into our online relationship with the sole purpose to SWINDLE me out of thousands. During the course of our relationship, she used marriage to enter the U.S.A. and continue her CON. Since she never intended to be in a real marriage (stopped living together after 9 days), and the authorities will rule it an "invalid marriage"……….will my health insurance company ALSO deem it grounds for demanding full restitution for ALL the bills they paid on her behalf (under false pretenses)?

NOTE: She has also filed "False Insurance Claims" months after our divorce, and the Insurance Company is demanding their money back on those claims already.

Will I be held liable for HER deceptions??? I have already been TAKEN for thousands by her, and now face Bankruptcy.

Comments (5)

My husband and I file for Chapter 7 Bankruptcy last week. Do we have to wait until the bankruptcy is discharged until we can file for divorce? If it’s possible to file for divorce before the bankruptcy is discharged, how long must we wait to file the divorce?

Comments (3)

I am currently in a long and overly stressful (stupid) divorce. I am a 32 year old father of 2 children. 1 tween girl and 1 5 year old boy with learning and speech problems. My soon ex wife has decided that the kids are too much trouble for her and lets them run wild when she has them on the weekends. she also likes to use the lawyer to inflict as much pain and frustration as possible. I try to be a parent but it is an up hill battle after they get back for the weekends. They trash the house and dont want to help take care of things.
I work ALOT and have the kids 80 percent of the time. I dont have daycare or babysitter. I work when I dont have them and if I need to, I take them to my office with me.
I lost about 65000 dollars so far on her (wiping out savings /lawyers and everything. then she ran up 40000 in credit cards. I ended up having to file chapter 13 bankruptcy. I suffer from fibromyalga and do everything I can to get through a day and take care of my kids, job, housework, pay bills. I ended up loosing my car to the bank and driving now a old KIA. I loved my car too.
I feel like I have lost everything. I am alone. I feel like I cant win against the world. Everyday I am in pain. I cannot tell anyone because I am afraid that it will cost me my kids or my job. I dont know what to do or where to go. I am broke, stressed out and lost.
please give me some advice so I can continue to be a parent and stop feeling this bad.

Comments (17)

I Figure someone has seen this debit card program. Maybe you can tell me if this is real. I need a debit card, because I’ll be travelling a lot. I’m preparing to do behind the wheel training with Swift trucking – to be an over the road truck driver.

I don’t expect to get back to my (former) home often enough to pick up bills Besides, I won’t have any. And until I make enough money to get a laptop, I couldn’t keep up with them, if I did. Due to my divorce & filing bankruptcy, my credit is screwed anyway. So credit cards are out.

Yes I know It’s a mess. I hope it can get better from here.

Either way, I just want to know if you can get a debit card where you don’t have to have a bank acount? They claim 100% approval. But, there is always a catch. Beside I won’t have the opportunity to get online to deal with this if it’s a scam. I just want to know if it’s real. I only have a few days. Here’s is the program. http://advantagevisa.120bucks.com
Thanks for any advice.

Comments (4)

Please someone explain this to me. I am having a divorce. All the equity that was in the house was used to pay my for my husbands business. I know I need to sell the house to get out from under this mound of debt. Is bankruptcy the best solution? My husband wants to pay me back the 100,000.00 back over a period of 10 years.

Comments (3)

Any suggestions or opinions would be helpful, here is some background:

Someone I know owns a double wide which is located on a small lot in a country area, but has a basement foundation. The initial mortgage was around 120k and after 10 years is around 100k.

The person has to work two full-time jobs to afford the thousand dollar mortgage payment and utilites. ( The person was left with the house after a divorce and is trying to keep it)

At this time in their life, they realize that they cannot work two jobs forever (they are getting older) and ultimately they will end up with nothing.

Here is their question, (Keep in mind, They will have somewhere else to live) Should they file for bankruptcy against the house (they have no other significant debt) or quit paying and foreclose.

Thank you all for your thoughts and ideas.
Truthfully, I dont think they care about credit. They are in a long term relationship with someone else (not married) so they want to move with them (the house is in the others name)

my only question is that a doublewide usually doesn’t retain value- they wouldn’t walk away clean

Comments (2)

I’m in a sticky situation. My ex-husband and I (when were married) filed for Chapter 13. SInce the divorce, I pay half the bankruptcy payment and he the other half. At the time we filed, we included our car payments in the bankruptcy, so until our last bankruptcy payment(which will be in 2 years, the lien holder will still have the title to my car. Since I’m still paying in bankruptcy and the lien holder has my title, I have to pay full coverage insurance(state law-GA). Well my car is finally inoperable and I am paying cash for another. Well it is operable but I refuse to put MORE money into a piece of junk to get it fixed. How do I get out from under paying insurance and registration on the old one without a title? Can I turn the car back over to the lien holder with no further obligation? What are my options?

Comments (2)

I am recently divorced and the reason for my divorce was due to my wife obtaining numerous credit cards on line im my name, she then maxed them out and didn’t make payments on them. When I found out the cards existed the interest rates had went out of sight and late fees had became enormous. Due to the divorce and the credit card debt I turned the credit cards and one personal loan over to Consumer Credit Counseling Service. This is still a strain on my budget. I bring home 3,700 dollars a month and my total debt that I turned over to the credit counselors is now 18,700 dollars. After I pay my rent, child support (which is the mortgage on the house my x wife lives in), car payment, a home equity line payment, and other monthly bills I only have approximately 360 dollars left for groceries and gas, and other emergency expenses. Would I be a good candidate for bankruptcy, or does anyone know a better option?

Comments (4)

She doesnt have very good credit. She has hardly any at all but has a score close to 600 but under it (we did a free report online) she has some charge offs but less then 5 neg. things on her credit report. The only reason that she has this is because her ex-husband now filed bankruptcy when they were in the process of waiting on their divorce. He didnt have bad credit either but filed cause he co-signed for a vehicle for his sister and she didnt pay so he was being sued so . . . she is worried now that she wont get the house. They arent giving any kind of an option to have a co-signor but she does make about 4 times the amount of the rent in the income. Do you think that this will matter? She is scared to death because they called her today and told her that they were doing the credit check. They did it about 3pm and havent called her yet so now she is her freaking out thinking that because they didnt call her back today that she isnt going to get it. Also some more info is that the people live out of state and they need to rent it to make the house payment still owed on it and so far she is the only one interested . . . please no smart remarks!
Yeah I know Twitter I tried to tell her that and she said that when she went and did the app that it looked like a basic one that you would fill out anywhere and they didnt tell her that they were gonna do the check on her she said she didnt think that they would but they also ask her for credit references and she does have other stuff people she pays car lots she owes to thats still not on there and she said she told them that none of it was on her credit yet but that they would all give her a good reference so maybe that will help. Thanks for backing me up on this maybe she will listen and call them.
maybe I should have added a lil info, my gf has 2 kids and currently rents a house which she has for 4 years now, she is just looking for a bigger one, she is responsible for all the bills and always has been. So I think that she knows how to pay her bills as I said she was messed up because she was married to someone that was. I think I also mentioned that she pays a car payment monthly and is never late, she has other things that she pays they just arent showing on her credit report yet. She isnt a low life with no money trying to get something that she doesnt deserve. Like I said 2 kids needs another bedroom, very responsible has had the same job for many years, pays all her bills, I was just asking an opinion, like do you think that if the people want to rent it bad enough that they will ask her to do some explaining before they turn her down and would you rent to someone in her situation. Thats all we are asking not how that she can get help w her money cause she can afford it.

Comments (5)

My husband and I are separated. I plan to file for divorce in the next month. I am living in our house with our two young children. I have a good income and could qualify to buy him out based on income, but we recently filed chapter 13 bankruptcy. What are my options? Is my only option to sell the house b/c I won’t have the credit to finance it in my name alone?

Comments (4)

I’m going thru a divorce & learning of thousands of dollars in collection & more that are delinquent & on there way to a collection. Yesterday I learned of a credit card company that will settle for a % of the debt. I contacted this company & informed them that I have never applied for a credit card in my life. They had all of the personal info on me needed to apply for a credit card. I have a feeling that my soon to be ex applied for & received a card in my name. They informed me to go to the police dept. & fill out a fraud/identity theft form. Is this the correct action to take? I had trusted that my ex was taking care of our finances but apparently she wasn’t. I will probably have to file bankruptcy. Should I do this after our divorce is final and the debts are divided or file together with my ex, before the divorce is final? I obviously want to know ALL of my debt that is out there. How do I go about finding this out? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments (2)

I am in bankruptcy due to a divorce and job loss. The trustee has asked for a recent mortgage statement. I do not receive paper statements, but receive them via email. I went online to print out some statements and could not access them, so I called and was told that they could not send a copy of a statement because it would look like they were trying to collect a debt. (I am not behind on my mortgage). I am asking for May and June statements. The trustee is demanding the paper. Any suggestions?\

Comments (2)